


a mistaken belief of love

by skkaie29



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Dark, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Physical Abuse, Songfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:47:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27774016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skkaie29/pseuds/skkaie29
Summary: when Sehun's lover, jongin, dies due to suicide, and their mutual friends all leave him, all he has is his pet hybrid, kai. what happens when sehun soon spirals into insanity?based off "A Mistaken Belief Of Love"
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Kudos: 4





	a mistaken belief of love

**Author's Note:**

> suicide, abuse warning!

**“hey, tell me what’s this lovin to you?”**

**answers fadin out of view**

**ashen, trapped in swingin, i read as much text as i lose**

sehun quietly took a gulp of the beer, the bitter taste flowing over his taste buds, engulfing him.

all he could see were the jeering faces of the people he called his friends, the words, the insults, they all echoed in his head.

ah, the only thing he had by his side, his cat hybrid, Kai. he couldn’t speak, even though he was a hybrid. all he could do was meow as his owner drank more and more.

**tonight, that gap between the beds**

**our lies and clothing torn up into shreds**

**wont fix again, my friend, i’m tripping at the end,**

when sehun woke up with a hangover, he heavily trudged through his room and corridor, stepping over the empty beer bottles and garbage thrown on the floor.

his mind was deceiving him. of course, it is.

Kai was sitting in front of his window, perched in a stance, as if he was ready to pounce.

“f-u-c-k-i-n-g s-c-u-m” Kai seemed to taunt, each letter making Kai’s lips twist into a deadly smirk, on the brink of insanity.

“my love, isn’t that what they all said? after you let him suffer?” Kai hopped up, and wrapped his hand around sehun’s chin.

sehun was at a loss for words. since when could Kai talk? 

“no, i swear to god, you know it more than anyone else, i didnt fucking cause him to commit suicide! i didn’t even know he was suffering!”

**ah, the mud,**

**the swamp of all of our deflecting**

**a lie? a love, to boast while laughing till the ending eat it up.**

**so tough, i’m scum, can’t run now, aiaiya,**

**enough now, take my prize, each and every one.**

“how would i know? god, you really thought i understood you those times?” Kai laughed darkly, and sehun wrapped his hands around the hybrid.

sehun was shocked at how… thin Kai felt. he could feel his ribs jutting out, and then it dawned on sehun,

he hadn’t been feeding Kai, and he was probably starving.

“hold on, Kai.” sehun said, stepping away to collect himself.

his illiterate hybrid was now speaking fluent korean, and he’s sure it’s not the hangover.

“Kai, how long have you known english?” sehun turned around to face the hybrid again.

but all he saw was Kai rolling around on his back, meowing at sehun.

god, he was going crazy.

**“hey, love is a dangerous flame,**

**to hell if you can’t bear the weight”**

**swingin fast i’m missin up to bat**

**so don’t you lecture me like that!**

“fucking hell,” sehun groaned, drunken from the high amount of beer he’d been drinking.

he didn’t know whether they were hallucinations, or Kai was really learning how to speak, and he seemed to push the right buttons to get sehun fuming.

“the real reason your friends left you was cause they thought you were not good enough, not a good boyfriend to jongin.” Kai said absentmindedly, toying with the curtains.

“the fuck did you just say to me?” sehun asked, venom lacing his voice. 

without a second thought, he took the beer bottle and threw it at Kai, hitting his arm, making the hybrid whimper.

however, sehun just passed out, the apartment going silent.

this wasn’t the first time sehun would hurt Kai when drunk, but then when he woke up he’d be shocked at the injuries and whisper sweet nothings to Kai, as if he didn’t just hurt him.

**it’s so, fucked up, this bitter choking, little mayday**

**your mind is drunk, beaten up for days and just fading, let it rust.**

**it’s tough, i’m scum, can’t run now aiyaiyaiya,**

**enough now, i’ll hunt you down, no more hiding now.**

Kai was sick of it, sick of sehun’s antics.

he understood that his owner was going through a tough time, and as his pet, he was supposed to help him find solace.

but sehun hits him, even though Kai did nothing wrong, it doesn’t add up.

when Kai meows, sehun looks so disgusted and then he starts talking to him, as if Kai could understand.

even regardless of this, Kai can still say that he loves sehun,

even though he’s running on an empty stomach and unhealed cuts.

**“hey, say if i’m still in your heart?”**

**dancin, as i’m playin my part**

**that simple question has never got an ending, nowhere to start**

it feels as if all the days are just the same, every day is just immersed in sehun drinking till he passes out.

sehun was running out of things to get drunk on, and it was making him irritable, which doesn’t help as he’s also flat out drunk on top of that.

“Kai~” sehun slurred, walking over to the hybrid who was solemnly looking out the window.

“you know…” sehun smiled, “though your name is Kai, your real name that i gave you was Jongin,” sehun confessed.

“Jongin, ah, jongin. my love. my love who left me that day, just like that,” sehun made a snapping sound with his fingers. “the sound of his neck snapping and the sound of my heart breaking, a perfect melody.”

“the day where my world, snapped. boom, gone, just like that!” sehun laughed maniacally, holding onto the bottle with his hands. “then came, the voices. of everyone around me. “it’s your fault he committed suicide. you weren’t a good boyfriend. never took care of him. sick fucker.” good thing i can’t hear it anymore from them, because its coming from you.” sehun raised his voice at the last second, and a loud smash was heard as blood splattered everywhere, over sehun, over the floor, over the window.

**tonight, there’s part of me that sneers,**

**“they’re gone,” a laugh ringing in my ears**

**crumble there alone all washed up squeaky clean without a touch**

sehun took a while to process the sight in front of him.

Kai, lifeless, skin ripped to shreds by the glass shards that was now cutting into sehun’s hand, blood dripping out of Kai’s mouth.

“he’s gone… he’s really gone…” sehun trailed off, picking the lifeless body up and holding it close to his chest.

sehun laughed. chuckled, cried. “i killed him. i killed him. I FUCKING KILLED HIM!” sehun screamed, crying, but laughing at the same time as he hugged the lifeless body.

**ah, it all, is drunk, emersed and unsteady,**

**“i’m gone, time’s up,” i know it’s true** **_i’m the one that’s coughed up blood!_ **

**i’m not, the one, can’t run now aiyaiyaiya,**

**eat me up, but you’ll never go forget me, love.**

sehun grabbed the broken beer bottle, stained with Kai’s blood.

he smiled at the shards, sharp, as he likes it. 

drag. drag. drag.

his skin was unrecognisable, covered in agonising shades of dark red, and sehun looked, and smiled.

**END.**

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> okay so here’s the explanation for everything, this is based off the song and the english translation by David Toth, “A Mistaken Belief Of Love.”
> 
> i did add my own backstory, so here’s the explanation for everything.
> 
> sehun and jongin (not to be mixed up with Kai), were a loving couple, but sehun failed to realise jongin had depression.
> 
> jongin was fighting a lot of inner demons, and one day he succumbed to the voices in his head, and hung himself. this is referenced by sehun’s line, “the sound of his neck snapping and the sound of my heart breaking, a melody.” showing his feelings when he discovered jongin’s corpse.
> 
> when the news broke out to their mutual friends, they all outed sehun, saying it was his fault jongin died, he wasn’t being aware enough of the plight jongin was in.
> 
> that caused sehun to spiral into insanity, and becoming an alcoholic. before that, he picked up a hybrid from the streets, as the hybrid reminded him of jongin. that was before he became an alcoholic though, and he nursed Kai to health, as he was still mourning the loss of jongin.
> 
> after that, the voices got louder, and sehun fully spiraled into insanity. his constant drinking caused him to neglect Kai, starving Kai and abusing him when he got his drunk episodes. despite all this, Kai still believed that sehun loved him, reminding himself that sehun did nurse him back to health.
> 
> then, when everything got worse, sehun got hallucinations that Kai was the one speaking, the voices in his head. however, Kai was just meowing, as he was illiterate.
> 
> but in sehun’s mind, Kai was the one who was saying all those degrading taunts, making him hit Kai with more force.
> 
> then, came that one day where sehun killed Kai. he had enough of Kai’s “words”, and started saying all his feelings towards everything. and at the end, he started getting furious, and accidentally killed Kai by smashing the bottle on his head.
> 
> afterwards, he let that fact sink in, and since Kai was kind of like jongin to him, he felt that he had killed his loved one not once, but twice, and felt guilty for it. thus, he committed suicide.
> 
> it’s a very dark story, and this is just based off the theory on the song. i do recommend you check out Will Stetson’s cover of it, as then you can truly get the whole feeling of the song, especially at the lines of “i’m the one who’s coughed up blood,” oh and on that note as well:
> 
> i wrote that there was blood coming out of Kai’s mouth, as Kai coughed up blood before dying. this was so that i could reference the lyric after that, so it’s just a small little thing i added.
> 
> if you guys are still confused on the story and plot, feel free to comment and i’ll answer as best i could! have a nice day :)


End file.
